Blackbox by Nick Walker

Author:Nick Walker
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: HarperCollins

365

The ex-government agent was feeling sick, what with the pancakes and the cinnamon toast and the croissants that the waitress had persuaded him to try. His trousers gripped his waist and he felt the need to go up a shirt size. He took a pill that was supposed to control his blood pressure but reckoned the coffee would dilute any of its helpful effects. Reverse it probably. Piece of shit pharmaceutical companies.

His phone cheeped. He lunged for it, knocking his coffee over his trousers.

“Ow, shit! Hello? Ali?”

A waitress came over and started to dab the table and then his crotch with a cloth.

“Give me a name,” said the pharmaceutical CEO.

“I’m fucking working on it, you piece of shit.”

The waitress stopped mopping and smiled at the ex-government agent. She’d wanted to call her boss a piece of shit when he scolded her about customers who ran out without paying.

“I’ll have you a name within the hour, now piss off and get the money ready.”

He switched the phone off and prayed for Ali to ring. He wished he hadn’t asked her to go to the movies. What was he? Twelve years old? And what was this waitress grinning at?

364

“I didn’t mean to say that,” said John.

Dan said if he wanted a personal blackbox he could always borrow his Dictaphone.

John said he thought he’d leave it.

Dan said that if John had shouted “The ungrateful cow!” as his last words, it would have gone in at number one in his top-ten plane crash last words.

John asked him what his top-ten was.

Dan said:

10. “Up. Up.”

9. “Hang on!” (said as an instruction)

8. “Hang on . . .” (said quizzically)

7. “I don’t think I’ve seen that before.”

6. “If you could do that quickly, it would help.”

5. “What a shitty . . . why is this doing this?”

4. “Yes. I’ll try. It’s a good idea.”

3. “Well well well well.”

2. “We’re okay. Okay now.”

1. “Jesus. I don’t know what to say.”

363

“More toast?” asked the waitress.

“God, no,” said the ex-government agent.

He started spending his ten thousand dollars in his head. He’d buy a car so that he could stop using the subways. He could drive over to Ali’s place, wherever the hell that was, and take her out into the country. He’d wear a snazzy linen suit and sunglasses and impress her with tales from the Agency. She could wear a summery dress that was all short and showed off her thighs and perhaps a bit of cleavage. Her hair could waft around ’cos he’d bought an open-topped car. She’d have put lipstick on and perfume. She might lean over and put her fingers inside his shirt and nibble his ear.

The ex-government agent got up awkwardly from the table and asked where the restroom was.

362

Graham Johansson also had a top-ten, or bottom-ten flights.

10. Turbulence approaching Dallas, biting his tongue, getting blood on his shirt.

9. Food poisoning above the Pacific.

8. Stacking over Heathrow, running out of fuel, thinking air traffic control had forgotten about him.

7. Someone he was at school with recognizing his voice and being shown into the cockpit.

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